The Wage Mage's Butt Saga

And so, it began Sunday that the Wage Mage did have a lump upon a most sensitive place. This region had been afflicted before and the foe was banished twice by lots of meds. This time it was not to be.

Lo, the lump was stubborn. It grew like the appendage of a certain Ron Jeremy of adult fame. It caused the Wage Mage a good deal of pain, making her tech support job way worse than it already was. Usually, she only experienced mental pain and infrequent tears, today there was physical pain and actual tears. Lo, this did blow.

The Wage Mage, being unable to contact her personal physician, was forced to hie her hither unto the ER. She made the erroneous assumption that she would simply get inspected, get good drugs, a note for work, and a goodbye.

Fate was apparently slightly annoyed with the Wage Mage. Upon the healing clerics taking her in, they did note that the Wage Mage appeared a tad warm, and her heart was rapid. This dismayed the cleric. They asked her if her chalice had come in contact with her knights athame, and she replied that lo, due to diplomatic duties, there had been no great rite in some time. They made her give a sample of fluids for an alchemical proof this was not so. After doing the appropriate incantations, the cleric was satisfied.

The clerics didst decide to drain the evil spirits from her. She was forced to expose her butt, and with knife and needle, they didst remove a goodly amount of puerulence. Her knight was chivalrous and offered his hand for her to squeeze. He is truly a brave man and is owed many commendations for sacrificing his digits.

Lo, then the master cleric did arrive. He was concerned about the fever, and would not allow her to leave the hall of healing until she had absorbed a large amount of potions to prove that she was well. For two long hours, she was forced to spend time among the clerics resting and healing up.