The Wage Mage and Convention Drunkenness

To begin, the Wage Mage really doesn't drink. Most of you can vouch for the fact that I'm not particularly into alcohol. I prefer a good sweet tea to beer or wine. If you do catch me drinking once in a greeaaatttt while, it will be one drink for the entire day, probably a Bloody Mary or a Sangria. I am also partial to Guinness. Sadly, due to the Wage Mage's medical issues, one drink is usually enough. I am a social drinker in the meaning that I never drink alcohol alone, it's only in a group setting.

 

I can tell you about the one time I got drunk, and the only time I got drunk. They're the same time. It happened about, let's see, I've been married three years, took a year off between husbands, umm…2002 or 2003, I think. This one time, at a Star Trek convention in Orlando…

 

Someone had bought me a large bottle of Sake as a belated birthday present. Lo, it was good. Over a period of 3 hours, I proceeded to drink the entire thing, okay, admittedly partially diluted with water to make it last longer. There was probably some other alcohol involved, but that was what I remember drinking, at least. I remember flashes of things, and from what I remember, I had a great time. This was the one time I was not a sleepy drunk. (Yeah, one or two glasses, I'm tired.) The last thing I remember was skipping down the hallway singing the Gilligan's island theme song. At least, I think that's what it was…so they tell me….yeah.

 

The next morning was a good example of why karma is a bitch. I had to drive home from Altamonte Springs (30 min N of Orlando) to New Port Richey. I was hung over bad. I was pale, nauseous, sweating, and if I even thought about food, I was worshipping the porcelain gods. The car, she had NO AC. This was June. In Florida. In 90 something degree heat. To this day, I have no earthly clue how I made it home, although I am sure the gods kept me alive only to teach me a lesson. The moment I got home, I grunted at the ex-hubby when he asked me how it went, fell face first on the bed, and slept until the next morning.

 

Never again.

 

Now, I am the blackmail materials creator as I am usually the only one sober enough to remember the night's activities. However, I do ask that those of you lucky bastards going to FPG have a drink for me. As much as I have tried to finagle fate into letting me go, it's just not gonna happen. I will miss you all and will be thinking Beltaine thoughts for you. One of these days, I WILL get to a festival if I have to kidnap, bind, and gag the fates to get there.