The Wage Mage Thinks About Community Communication

"For millions of years mankind lived just like animals.

Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination,

We learned to talk."

-         Pink Floyd "Keep Talking"

 

I love this song. Pink Floyd is a great band to do magick to, seriously. But that wasn't the point of this post.

 

Communication. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, it's "a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior." That definition is clinical and matter of fact. But the flaming truth is that communication can be damn scary.

 

Sometimes we don't appreciate the effort that goes into good and effective communication, nor do we appreciate the effort that prevents bad communication.

 

Happy communication is easy. We naturally want to spread good things. There's rarely any social consequence from good things. Marriages, babies, gatherings, rituals: These are things we all want to hear about. Most times, we enjoy lively debate, so it's always nice when someone wants to start a topic of conversation. Easy communication.

 

Then there's the underappreciated unhappy communication. As much as we'd like to keep it from happening, it's still going to happen.

 

But I want to talk about BAD communication, and how this gets screwed up. Bad communication starts with two things, lack of trust, and fear. We all have this rampant fear of creating negativity in the community. Part of that is healthy, a good part of that isn't. We've all seen what happens to people that misbehave and we don't want to end up like that person, even if it's not even close to what the other person did. People think, "Wow, they spoke out and look what happened. I don't want to have that happen to me." And they do one of two things, they shut up and deal with it quietly, or they talk quietly to a friend, who talks to a friend, who talks to a friend, and eventually it just gets back to the leaders anyhoo, but by now, it's not what it started as. But nobody wants to be THAT person.

 

Or, even worse, they DO complain, but they see no results. They say something to a leader, they get no feedback, and they begin to think that nobody cares.

 

Here's my example:

 

A week ago, I found out something kinda important to some people in the community. First off, I made the erroneous assumption that the person directly involved knew by other official means. One of those official means is how I found out, and I figured hell, if they told me, they sure as hell told them. Damn bureaucracy, because not so much. But the other reason I didn't really say anything is because I didn't want to start drama. I figured that person knew, it involved her family, it was a pretty private thing, and I didn't need to be the one to bring it up. I hate drama llamas, I don't want to be one. Sufficed to say, I was rather surprised a few days later. Also really pissed for other reasons, but that's a separate blog post.

 

I took some time this week to think about what I might have done wrong. I realize now I should have said something, even if it wasn't "Hey, $INVOLVEDPERSON, did you know $OTHERINVOLVEDPERSON was $SITUATION?" I probably should have said, "Hey $INVOLVEDPERSON, do you need anything?" Then, when $INVOLVEDPERSON said "what the hell", I could tell her what I knew.

 

I apologize profusely to the community for farking that up. I promise to do better next time.

 

Here's what I'd like to see in the community, and I don't see now. At least from my monasterial perspective.

 

Management needs to:

 

1. We need to set forth AND PUBLICIZE OFTEN a policy and procedure for dealing with rumors and complaints. We might have it, but I have not seen it put forth recently.
2.  Frequently review their responses to situations to ensure that their actions do not have a chilling effect on complaints and concerns. If we realize that people who are complaining are getting excessively negative reactions, fix it.
3. When management does fix something, make sure the aggrieved party knows when and how it was fixed. You don't have to go into gory details, but still, let them know you actually did something.
4. They also need to take the responsibility to ensure the complainer stays anonymous and to quickly deal with any leaks.
5. A person in charge that gets a complaint should not make a decision alone, it should go to a group to look at, or at least check with one other person.

 

I want people to NOT BE AFRAID to complain. But the complainer has responsibilities too. The complainer needs to:

 

1. Think before they speak. Make sure you fully understand what you're complaining about and the basis for your complaint.  Do your due diligence.
2. Come to the management with facts and proof. If it's a rumor you heard, tell management it's a rumor you heard. Have backup for your complaint. If you have witnesses, let them know so they can talk privately to them.
3. Realize that a full resolution takes a little time. Just because the management does not fix it in 30 minutes, that does not mean they don't care.
4. It is YOUR responsibility to follow up on a complaint. If you don't hear something in a week, ask the management.

 

 

We all need to work together to resolve complaints. Bystanders can also help by keeping clear of gossip and referring people who complain to the appropriate person. When you don't feed the drama llamas, they tend to go away.

 

I'll end with my favorite line from the above mentioned songs…

 

 

"It doesn't have to be like this. All we need to do, is make sure, we keep talking."

                             -Pink Floyd "Keep Talking"