The Wage Mage and A Moment of WTF?

Note: I really haven't slept. If I did, it was only in small 15 minute bursts. So, this will border on incoherency at times.

 

(WARNING: NSFW LANGUAGE)

 

It's moments like this that test my faith. In anything. Sometimes I wonder about the nature of karma. Assholes who swindle money from people and steal funds get long happy lives, but my yia yia, who has done nothing wrong, gets farking brain cancer. Seriously. Aggressive fatal brain cancer. I mean, damn. Yeah, yeah, the nature of karma is supposed to go over many lifetimes, but I wonder sometimes. Maybe this is her learning experience in this lifetime, although I have a hard time believing that right now.

 

The doctor says it's cancer. I know the doctor, so I trust that he knows what he's doing. He wasn't entirely optimistic. They moved her to the ICU last night, after they put her in the cancer center. That should have been a freaking hint, even before the doc showed up. Mom said the 9th floor, and I said, they don't have a 9th floor, and then I realized what the 9th floor was.

 

I left Java and Jam and went to Walmart. Yeah, Walmart. I know, where else do you go when you're upset? I just didn't want to go home. I bought way more crap than I wanted to, then rented a movie. It was a stupid movie, with Bill Engvall and Billy Ray Cyrus. It was mindless, which is what I wanted. It certainly lived up to that.

 

Right now I feel empty. Should I be crying? Maybe, but I can't. Then again, I didn't cry when my grandfather died...that is, until everyone else started crying. Maybe it was a defense mechanism. I guess it's a good thing, since I'm at work. Nothing else I can do, unless I want to sit in the ICU waiting room for hours. If I'm already gonna go thru mental hell, I might as well do it at work. Although I will verbally beat down anyone who fucks with me today. The tact filters are barely working, if not completely off. Luckily, my boss decided he'd go deal with the shrieking harpy that is our company president or I would have thrown her out her plate glass 3rd story window the second she opened her mouth today.